Not Pronounced Pot-Pour-Ri

A Potpourri of Short Thoughts

• "Don't get mad, get E*Trade." In this TV ad, a skinny kid with glasses pumps iron, does agility exercises, chin-ups, and everything else to make his body a little less scrawny. His reward: Failure! At which point the commercial gloats: "Don't get mad, get E*Trade." First, the kid should be praised for his intiative, his work ethic, his understanding of the truth that the only way to improve his physique is to work hard. But he is mocked for his effort. Second, never gamble, or buy or sell securities, which is the same thing, when you are angry.

• "It Pays to be Fast," Points Bet ad. You can't avoid this commercial watching New York Mets games on SNY cable, and most likely on your team's broadcasts. (Sports betting is still illegal in New York state, so you must be in New Jersey to participate.) Former NBA great Allen Iverson is the fast-talking, hard-hustling pitchman. You want to bet on the outcome of a game with a point spread, fine. But what Points Bet is selling is perpetual pla…